Written by Chi Chi Shirtcliff
In 1992, Sevenoaks RFC had undertaken a very successful tour to Australia, under the great organisational skills of John “Dazzlin” Maslin.
Following on from this, it was suggested that Sevenoaks should tour again but this time to the Cayman Islands in the Caribbean, as the club had two players out there working for the Island Police. A tour committee was assembled, 31 players across the club, committed to this with enthusiasm and direct debits, and fundraising events were organised to assist with a drinking fund and general tour costs.
25 years ago, on Easter Sunday, April 7th 1996, John had again assembled a core of 31 players and four wives/girlfriends at Heathrow Airport to begin a fantastic rugby odyssey,
All rugby tours from any era, follow a frighteningly familiar format, some people lose their passports, some people lose their minds and others drink lashings of Limoncello, and that’s all before we get to the top of Plymouth Drive, so it was a miracle that we had all got to Heathrow intact.
As the American Airlines flight winged its way to Miami (you couldn’t fly direct in those days) the party were in high spirits, both emotionally and alcoholically, as we managed to drink the in-flight bar completely dry and probably irritate our fellow passengers, with some strange sounds and dubious publications being passed around the cabin, whilst singing lewd rugby songs. Following a 3 hour stop in Miami, where some of the lads discovered in the terminal, a rooftop swimming pool – oh dear – we then towelled and re-robed for the short 90 minute flight south to Grand Cayman.
The touring party was very strong from a playing point of view, with a good selection of the 1st and 2nd XV including legends, Chris Crang, Mark Ridout, Mark Smith, Malcolm McCulloch, Toby Binsted, Sean Sayers, Chi Chi, Sniffer Curtis, David Cotterill ,the ageless Steve England and the clubs current President and Chairman to this day, Wooly and Trevor. It was billed as a proper playing tour and we were determined to play some decent rugby, take the games seriously, but also ‘go large’ with all the usual temptations and nocturnal pursuits.
The challenge was clear, it was an 8 day trip, but with 3 matches concertinaed in 5 days with very quick turnarounds, playing in searingly hot temperatures even at 5pm kick off local time.
Cayman were an unknown quantity, but it became clear fairly early on that they were a strong mix of Aussie, Kiwi, South African and British expats, including one that claimed he was a former Leicester Tiger (more on that later) and another that had a huge stomach scar as a result of a shark bite – delightful !
Monday came round and following a morning of getting sunburnt, drinking and pretending to like eating conch, we headed to Cayman Rugby Club for our first match against Royal Cayman Island Police (RCIP) - blimey, we had only just landed!
IT was a crisply hot evening, as tour captain Chi Chi gathered round his brethren and insisted that everyone would play some part in this opening match against RCIP. The game ebbed and flowed, Wooly fresh from his escapade in HK, combined with Smithy for a great score and Sevenoaks eased to 22-37 victory with Steve England being a popular try scorer to seal the match and Sniffer Curtis kicking the leather off the ball with his siege gun spiralling torpedo kicks. The celebrations went long into the evening with presentations, and trotting out our first fully clothed to fully naked, award winning performance of Father Abraham
It became apparent that we were a battle hardened squad, having arrived on the back of an 9 month long domestic season of playing every week in the bank, and we showed the locals some very aggressive old school rucking that the island were not used, as they perhaps relied on more ad-hoc touring opposition with different styles or playing a lot of familiar inter club rugby.
Tuesday and Wednesday was dedicated to patching up the squad, (one or two claim they’d pulled……….. A hamstring) more drinking, getting sunburnt, snorkelling, eating more conch and stirring our rum and cokes in a clockwise direction (tour rule), whilst we hung out at veritable hot spots, like the crocodile café, Hog Sty café, The Rumshack, Sharkeys nightclub and the seemingly, all welcome, no ticket required hot tub, at the Westin.
Other SRFC tourists roamed the island looking lost, dragging their kit bags along, holding back their tears, as they desperately tried to remember where they were billeted.
A few of our lads decided to drive some foolishly unattended golf buggies on a full lock, round and round the circular entrance of the Hyatt hotel (same entrance used in the scene of Tom cruise film THE FIRM) until someone from the concierge told us we were being “very immature” – he had a point!!
Thursday arrived and we dragged ourselves kicking and screaming back to Cayman Rugby Club for game 2 against Cayman Rugby 2nd XV.
This was a closer affair, and we had to wear our white non tour shirts as our official tour strip had shrunk in the wash, although this didn’t dampen our mood, as we held on for a narrow 15-16 victory, with the local ref doing his best to unsuccessfully defeat us with his whistle and suspiciously long second half. More revelry, Father Abraham and drinking games into the night.
Friday was spent springing Malcolm from the local hospital, where he had stayed for a fleeting intravenous fluid/rehydrate pit stop and then on to visiting Sting Ray City, a naturally occurring (ahem -with food!) fishy meeting point where one can stand in shallow waters as these cartilaginous fish wafted around our ankles.
We turned down a joint training session with Cayman Rugby on Friday night and in fact, we watched them forlornly attempt to practice to counter our aforementioned rucking style, as we cheerily hooted and waved as we drove past on our way, for more liquid libation.
Friday night was spent drinking, clubbing, stirring our rum and cokes in a clock wise direction again and picking our best team on paper, of our patched up squad, of those still semi willing and standing with all four limbs attached.
The Cayman Rugby opinion of us from a playing strength point of view, was that we would probably win our first game (tick) we would struggle in the second game (nope) and in fact their was audible surprise when we won game two, but they thought we would definitely not win our final match against their Cayman 1st XV. The local newsflash was it appears these lads from Sevenoaks could play a bit. Armed with this ammunition and increasing interest on the island of our exploits, Saturday was going to be huge and fantastic. TV and radio crews arrived, the crowd was massive and growing as word spread of our final game.
Cayman is a British Overseas Territory and we had invited, in advance the London appointed Governor of the Islands to our game for a pre match presentation, who naturally arrived in a convertible Rolls Royce – tough gig!
What was left of the patched up squad assembled early at Cayman Rugby and Captain Chi Chi, now inspired or possibly showing signs of losing his marbles, thought we should change and prepare in some woodland away from their changing room and clubhouse in some doomed attempt to put the Cayman lads off, this back fired, as we discovered we were changing on top of a giant ants nest.
Having warmed down not up, blimey it was hot, we went through a few
Pre match moves and lined up, as I had the honour of introducing our squad to the Cayman Governor, we were ready to kick off.
The match got off to a very quick start and one early ruck where Cayman came blatantly over the top, led to an enormous old school, not seen for years, punch up, as the tension and pressure had built up, we weren’t going to let them take liberties, we were here to play, we were miles from home and our confidence was sky high. Oaks spurned an early kickable penalty to run the ball, which resulted in a try for super quick Mark Havilland, only for Cayman to reply to score a converted try 7-5 to them.
The game ebbed and flowed, scores exchanged and deep into the second half, Oaks were down 20-16, Sean Sayers by now was off the pitch for a ‘lie down’ and a cool flannel, Cayman took a 22 drop out that didn’t go ten, scrum to the Oaks in a great position. The season long 1st XV front row of Chi Chi, Crangy and Toby turned the screw, Malcolm (who else!) Now fully hydrated, broke from the scrum, fed Havilland again, who rounded his oppo winger (the bloke from Leicester Tigers apparently!) and blasted through three tackles to touch down for a fantastic score, a try that would grace Knole Paddock in 2021. Victory to Sevenoaks 20-21
- CUE ABSOLUTE MAYHEM, THREE WINS OUT OF THREE - JOB DONE.
It was a fantastic trip, enjoyed by everyone, the lads behaved themselves (mostly!), were a total credit to the club and the commitment to play rugby seriously, despite the touring attrition, was fantastic, we stuck together and looked after each other, whilst not shirking the more social commitments.
One player never did find his billet/accommodation for all eight days, opting to sleep wherever he was fluid felled like a great Oak, merely leaving all his belongings including his passport, in a hedge as his makeshift wardrobe !!!